Music for Recovery

 
 

Music for Recovery

Gosnold on Cape Cod

by Music for Recovery

  • 04:28 Download Story Lyrics Twenty Four Hours

    Cataumet June 2015

    I don't remember exactly what day or time
    the alcohol…….
    took over my mind
    My body was shaking and I found it hard to think……
    I couldn't go an hour …
    …..without another drink

    We can learn to breathe,
    Let ourselves slow down
    We deserve better
    This new life we found…
    Get down on our knees
    Help me higher power
    Just get us through…. twenty four hours….

    Looking to myself in the mirror when I’m high….
    Staring into my eyes makes me want to cry….
    Today is now
    tomorrow never comes…
    Somethines I ask myself ask self how has this begun

    Chorus

    The future’s full of chaos
    says the carnage of my past…
    The war inside my mind
    doesn’t have to last
    The future is coming one day at a time ….
    the future is coming… and it will blow my mind….

    Chorus

    Just get us through…. twenty four hours…. One day at a time ….. 24 hours..one day at a time…24 hrs…one day at a time…24 hrs…one day at a time…24 hrs….one day at a time….

  • 02:38 Download Story My Strength
  • 03:33 Download Story Powerless
  • 03:26 Download Story Lyrics Worthy

    Worthy
    Written by the women at Emerson House 9/2013

    CHORUS
    Worthy , we are worthy
    Together, we set each other free x2

    I'm just one person in this big huge world
    Truth to tell I’ve been a good bad girl
    Don’t really know who it is that I am
    All I know is I gotta start again

    Chorus

    Why do I always feel so lost
    Don’t seem right to hear I’m worth the cost
    I don’t feel accepted on the inside or out
    Time to discover what I’m about

    Chorus

    Don’t have to pretend I’m so tough
    I realize I’ve always been enough
    How simple it would feel
    To give up all these sins
    In the mirror settle in my skin

    Musical interlude (count 8)

    The skies the limit,
    Let go of the past
    My wings are growing,
    Let this feeling last

  • 03:24 Download Story Lyrics Finally Free

    “Finally Free”
    Emerson House Dec 2014

    I believed what they were telling me,
    what they were telling me wasn’t true.
    I’m taking control of who I am
    having faith in what I do.
    I was hiding from myself.
    now I’m finding my own voice.
    Cuz life is what I make it
    And now I have a choice

    Momma always taught me
    put other people first
    But every time I did that
    Things always got worse
    I ran away from life
    life wasn’t worth living.
    To fix the unfixable
    I’m the one that needs forgiving

    Chorus

    I needed to feel wanted, now I need to feel free
    Taking back my power, make myself my priority.
    Drugs consumed my soul, robbed me of all control
    now I’m working on myself, believing I am whole

    Chorus

    I needed to be wanted
    Now I’m finally free

  • 03:11 Download Story Lyrics Believe (The Vulnerability Song)

    Believe (The Vulnerability Song)
    Written at Emerson House June 2015

    When the pain gets great enough
    and there is nowhere left to turn.
    I see the wreckage of my past
    and bridges burned.
    I sit and think about the lessons that I learned
    I have learned

    Chorus
    I can love, (the unlovable)
    I can learn( the unteachable)
    I can trust (the untrustable)
    & believe (the unbelievable).

    it's not the one who laughs
    when we stumble and we fall
    it's the one who helps us get back up
    walks with us through it all.
    give me strength to break me through my inner walls.
    I’ll stand tall.

    Chorus

    When the pain gets great enough
    and there is nowhere left to turn.
    I see the wreckage of my past
    and bridges burned.
    I sit and think about the lessons that I learned
    I have learned

    Chorus

  • 03:40 Download Story Lyrics Courage Feels Like Freedom

    Courage feels like freedom
    Written at Emerson House March 2015

    Walking through the door in empowerment, moving forward -
    Confidence, determination, strength
    Delicate wings of a hummingbird,
    Drumming, humming, running against the wind
    and never giving up.

    Courage feels like freedom
    Other women give me strength
    I wanna start believing
    Let go of all this weight
    Soldier at war, facing the unknown
    A woman in recovery, I am coming home

    I failed so often, yet I’m not in the coffin
    I felt so alone couldn’t reach for the phone
    I was not brave no one else to blame
    Stranded in the rain so afraid of change

    Chorus
    Not confident made bad choices, I was full of fear negative voices
    I was so hurt why try? I felt like a failure just trying to get by.

    Chorus

    Scared to be courageous, hope became contagious
    I felt undeservin’, other women heard me
    This house gives me hope, keeps me off the dope
    I wanna feel the sun, a new life just begun

    Chorus

    I miss my family far from home
    Searching for security I am not alone
    Overcoming obstacles, wrapped in a warm hug
    Asking for help surrounded with love

    Words we didn’t get to use

    Looking for approval trying to please
    Addiction had me by the neck
    And brought me to my knees
    Quick to doubt
    Looking for any way out

    If there’s fear in my heart
    My feet on the ground
    If there’s a hole in the sidewalk
    I walk around

  • 03:31 Download Story Lyrics Believe (The Vulnerability Song) Solo

    Believe (The Vulnerability Song)
    Written at Emerson House June 2015

    When the pain gets great enough
    and there is nowhere left to turn.
    I see the wreckage of my past
    and bridges burned.
    I sit and think about the lessons that I learned
    I have learned

    Chorus
    I can love, (the unlovable)
    I can learn( the unteachable)
    I can trust (the untrustable)
    & believe (the unbelievable).

    it's not the one who laughs
    when we stumble and we fall
    it's the one who helps us get back up
    walks with us through it all.
    give me strength to break me through my inner walls.
    I’ll stand tall.

    Chorus

    When the pain gets great enough
    and there is nowhere left to turn.
    I see the wreckage of my past
    and bridges burned.
    I sit and think about the lessons that I learned
    I have learned

    Chorus

  • 03:16 Download Story Lyrics Keep It In The Day

    Keep It In the Day
    Written at Miller House June 2015

    Evil surrounds me,
    the drugs drowned me.
    I need to focus on the moment around me.
    I take a deep breath and it grounds me.
    If I wanna keep it in the day, I gotta get on my knees and pray.

    It’s hard to keep it in the day.
    Why won’t my mind just stay.
    It’s always racing left and right.
    Back and forth through the night.
    If I wanna keep it in the day, I gotta get on my knees and pray.

    People I knew now look like strangers.
    Once had it so good. How quick everything changes.
    Hard to stop when you feel like a creature,
    lord show me the way, you are my teacher.
    If I wanna keep it in the day, I gotta get on my knees and pray.

    I can’t stop thinking about the wreckage of the past
    and the wreckage of the future seems to come so fast.
    I talked to god and he said I would be alright,
    but he’s pretty sure my disease lost this fight.
    If I wanna keep it in the day. I gotta get on my knees and pray.

    I have a mind that just wont stop racing, scared to look in the mirror because I just can’t face it.
    The present is a gift to stop the worlds shift
    Focus on the now focus on the here.
    Focus on the hope don't focus on the fear.
    If I wanna keep it in the day. I get on my knees and pray.

  • 04:04 Download Story Lyrics Ready to Change

    Ready to Change
    Written at Cataumet, Gosnold on Cape Cod December 2015

    Wild hope, desperate fear,
    never stopping to ask why I'm still here
    I seek the truth but the truth lied to me
    Take these scales from my eyes
    so now I can see

    Are you ready to change
    I don’t know how
    Are you ready to change
    Let’s do it now

    Asking for help can be hard
    Dealing with addiction’s deck of cards
    Lord knows I've had enough
    Please remove these liquid handcuffs
    I’m so tired of hurting the ones that I love.
    Surrender myself and rise above

    Chorus

    Take off my mask, see what's behind
    Though I still fear what I might find
    I’m scared to change afraid of what I’ll see.
    I need to take the chance to set myself free.

    Chorus

    Start the climb to the top, ain't admitting defeat
    don't forget to breathe get back up on my feet,
    feel myself changing hour by hour
    Asking for help God grant me the power

    Are you ready to change
    I don’t know how
    Are you ready to change
    Let’s do it now X2

    I’m ready to change.
    Now I know how.
    gonna break these chains
    the time is now.

  • 04:53 Download Story Lyrics (F.E.A.R.): Face Everything And Recover

    Face Everything and Recover
    Cataumet December 2016

    Scared of the outside
    scared within
    Take a deep breath and… just begin
    Afraid of the unknown,
    afraid of the same;
    find a new direction
    It's time…..
    it's time to change

    I don't know how to deal
    with the way that I feel;
    so I drink and drug
    cuz I cant keep it real
    As I figure out the fear inside
    I finally leave the pain behind

    Scared of the outside
    scared within
    Take a deep breath and… just begin
    Afraid of the unknown,
    afraid of the same;
    find a new direction
    It's time…..
    it's time to change

    Face everything that comes my way
    And recovery will come my way today
    Face everything and recover,
    don’t ever wanna pick up another

    Scared of the outside
    scared within
    Take a deep breath and… just begin
    Afraid of the unknown,
    afraid of the same;
    find a new direction
    It's time…..
    it's time to change

  • 03:13 Download Story Lyrics I Know I Surrendered

    Cataumet June 2016

    I know I’ve surrendered
    because I have hope
    I’m free from the booze,
    I’m free from the dope
    I’m on the road to feeling whole
    I win the war when I give up control
    I win the war when I give up control

    I don’t understand how this happened to me
    They’re asking me to give up my identity
    The road long, I pray for thee
    I hope we make it to the sea.

    I know I’ve surrendered
    because I have hope
    I’m free from the booze,
    I’m free from the dope
    I’m on the road to feeling whole
    I win the war when I give up control
    I win the war when I give up control

    I’ve been lying,
    I’ve been crying,
    but here I am
    I’m still trying
    cuz I know inside
    that I’m dying

    I know I’ve surrendered
    because I have hope
    I’m free from the booze,
    I’m free from the dope
    I’m on the road to feeling whole
    I win the war when I give up control
    I win the war when I give up control

  • 03:58 Download Story Lyrics Can't Do It Myself

    Can’t Do It Myself
    Cataumet June 2017

    Chorus
    I can’t do it myself
    I’ve got to ask for help
    Surrender my heart
    do my part
    I can’t do it, I can’t do it
    I can’t do it…..myself

    My white flag is drenched with tears
    I’ve been stuck in a cave for years
    I know in my heart my disease is real
    It's finally time to emerge and heal

    Chorus

    I want it just to happen
    I want it to go fast
    We can live again
    But can't change the past

    Chorus

    Written from the song seed prompts

    If I could surrender then…..
    It’s hard to surrender because….

  • 03:09 Download Story Lyrics Cut That Anchor, Catch Clean Wind

    Cut that Anchor, Catch Clean Wind
    Cataumet March 2016

    Cut that anchor, catch clean wind
    Now I’m here, it’s time to begin
    The higher power that waits for me
    Will take my hand and set me free

    Guilt and shame, the story of my life
    Thundercloud...can't see the light
    Nauseating, wrenching
    Whirlwind of the mind
    abyss of the heart
    Being buried alive

    Chorus

    This knot in my stomach
    This weight in my throat
    Anxiety suffocates
    I drown and I choke
    Leave the past in the past
    Make this the last time
    Help me picture life
    Leaving it behind

    Chorus

    I’m able to see
    what life can be
    feel the sunshine
    see the child in me

    Chorus

    Leave the past in the past
    Make this the last time

  • 02:35 Download Story Lyrics Stay in the Moment

    Stay in the Moment
    Cataumet Sept 2016

    I don’t wanna fail
    I don’t wanna go back
    To the mess and the misery
    of my past
    I’m living in the moment,
    one day at a time
    This is our recovery,
    it’s time to shine

    I don’t want to fail
    let my friends & family down
    Go back to jail
    Help me turn my life around

    Stay in the moment,
    take a deep breath
    Calm my mind,
    To avoid the stress (2x)

    When I leave this place I have a choice,
    I need to listen to only the voice
    of my higher power the solution of my disease
    don't worry about others I’m the only one I need to please

    Now it’s time for me to take action
    Can’t let you be my distraction
    'Cuz you pull me ten steps back every time
    You got me feeling like Michael Jackson
    With all your chemical reactions
    You have going on in my mind

    It's us against you, It's time to be true
    And be there for the people that we love

    I don’t wanna fail
    I don’t wanna go back
    To the mess and the misery of my past
    I’m living in the moment,
    one day at a time
    This is our recovery,
    it’s time to shine

  • 02:49 Download Story Here I Am
  • 02:39 Download Story Lyrics Move This Thing Along (Alice Version)

    Move This Thing Along (Alice Version)

    Cataumet September 2015

    I’ve been dying
    Living and lying
    I lived in delusion
    Without even trying

    I need a solution
    My past and my using
    I got to surrender
    And stop this abusing
    I want a solution
    I want a solution

    Need someone to talk with
    To listen and walk with
    Who knows what I’m thinking
    Can help me stop drinking
    Quit my old thinking
    feel like I’m sinking
    throw me a line
    before I’m out of time

    I need to move on
    need to move on
    Its time to move on
    Move this thing along
    Time to move on
    Time to move on
    Move this thing along

    Dealing with my emotions
    I go out on the ocean
    I feel like I’m floating
    I go through the Motions
    Stars over the ocean
    My eyes are wide open
    Wash this pain away
    Wash it away
    Wash it away

  • 03:03 Download Story Lyrics Time To Live Our Lives (No Reservations)

    Time to Live Our Lives (No Reservations)

    Cataumet, September 2016

    Look to the sky and see I'm alive
    The time has arrived for us to live our lives

    My reservations have reservations
    My resentments, well they do to
    I can’t listen, can’t listen to them
    'Cuz what they say
    it just isn’t true
    just isn’t true

    I can have just one glass of wine
    A couple of glasses would be fine
    Not to say forever,
    however
    one last time is never enough
    is never enough

    The light is getting brighter and time is on my side
    The tunnel nears it end, but longer is the ride
    longer is the ride, yea, longer is the ride

  • 02:12 Download Story Lyrics Move This Thing Along

    Move This Thing Along

    Cataumet September 2015

    I’ve been dying
    Living and lying
    I lived in delusion
    Without even trying

    I need a solution
    My past and my using
    I got to surrender
    And stop this abusing
    I want a solution
    I want a solution

    Need someone to talk with
    To listen and walk with
    Who knows what I’m thinking
    Can help me stop drinking
    Quit my old thinking
    feel like I’m sinking
    throw me a line
    before I’m out of time

    I need to move on
    need to move on
    Its time to move on
    Move this thing along
    Time to move on
    Time to move on
    Move this thing along

    Dealing with my emotions
    I go out on the ocean
    I feel like I’m floating
    I go through the Motions
    Stars over the ocean
    My eyes are wide open
    Wash this pain away
    Wash it away
    Wash it away

  • 02:37 Download Story Lyrics Every Day I Decide to Stay

    Every day, I Decide to Stay
    Emerson House, December 2016

    After all the hurt and all the pain
    After all the times I’ve gone insane
    I won’t let myself, run away
    Now every day,
    I decide to stay

    It ain’t a secret no more,
    I got a story to tell.
    It’s my decision to change
    to leave that journey from hell

    After all the hurt and all the pain
    After all the times I’ve gone insane
    I won’t let myself, run away
    Now every day,
    I decide to stay

    I don't want to be here
    I enjoy being numb
    so when I’m lonely and I’m scared
    I think about my son

    After all the hurt and all the pain
    After all the times I’ve gone insane
    I won’t let myself, run away
    Now every day,
    I decide to stay

  • 00:53 Download Story Lyrics Laura - Through the Valley of Life

    Through the Valley of Life
    Written and performed by Laura
    Emerson House, December 2016

    As I walk through the shadow of the valley of death
    I’m lonely and I’m scared to take my last breath

    My mind starts racing and thoughts rush in
    Of misery and pain from where I’ve been

    I know what I want and I know what I need
    But the pains too deep, I do nothing but bleed

    I want to follow my heart but its so broken
    Trying to speak my mind but its so outspoken

    I need to keep my mind focused and stay doing good
    But take with me the message and remember where I stood

    Getting high almost killed me but I’m pulling out the knife
    And now I’m walking with the scars through the valley of life

  • 02:42 Download Story Lyrics Together We Climb

    Together We Climb
    Emerson House, June 2017

    Loss and addiction
    are the scars I wear
    A tortured soul
    drowning in despair
    Show me the Willingness to repair
    Take 12 steps to get me there

    Chorus
    It’s gonna take faith,
    it’s gonna take time
    hand in hand
    together we climb

    they consumed my life
    because I let them
    Time wasted, lost perception
    Turned me into a broken girl
    Little pieces in a broken world

    Chorus

    Loss and addiction
    are the scars I wear
    A tortured soul
    drowning in despair
    Show me the Willingness to repair
    Take 12 steps to get me there

    Chorus

    Written from the Song Seed Prompts
    My loss and my addiction are…….
    What helps me heal is…..

  • 03:09 Download Story Lyrics Together We Can Shine

    Together We Can Shine
    Emerson House, March 2016


    If we stick together
    then our troubles cut in half
    Dreams become reality,
    the world will feel our wrath.....
    together we can shine
    together we can shine

    I need her on my team,
    But I need to be seen
    Put aside the fear,
    Stop being mean
    Insecurity, judgement and pride what
    Hurt people, hurt people,
    a never ending ride

    Chorus

    I wanna scream
    to make you understand
    I need your help,
    please take my hand
    I get scared,
    it's like looking in a mirror
    Today we can do this,
    we can conquer this fear

    Chorus

    Imperfections in others
    that we see in ourselves
    People change, things go wrong
    Compassion will help
    When I want what they have
    I’m Lost Living in resentment
    Empower each other
    It will bring us contentment

    Chorus

  • 03:27 Download Story Lyrics Back on Track

    The Road to My Recovery - Back on Track
    Emerson House, March 2017

    Still have lots of work to do
    To be the best I can be
    But I’m finally on the road
    To my, recovery recovery ….

    Took a wrong turn, was lost I can’t look back
    asked for directions now I’m back on track.
    On track, on track
    Now I’m back on track
    asked for directions
    now I’m back on track.

    Hook

    Needle in my arm
    Kitchen cabinets burning
    Bad decisions, desperation
    Damaged, numb and yearning

    Resting on OK
    Fighting to fit in
    Lost in a big house
    Where do I begin?

    Hook

    Toxic rows of pain and fear
    Afraid of the unknown
    Persevere through the discomfort
    Someday I’ll make a home
    I’ll make a home
    I’ll make a home

  • 03:16 Download Story Lyrics Keep It Real

    Keep It Real

    Emerson House, September 2015

    Chorus
    When I was angry at everyone else
    I’d just use and scream inside myself
    Now I’m gonna tell you how I feel
    I’m just trying to keep it ,
    keep it real
    Keep it real,
    tell you how I feel
    And keep it real

    I’d lie; cheat, hit; cry
    to get what I wanted so I could get high
    I tell you I did things that I didn’t do
    So you would believe me and I would too

    I didn’t answer the phone
    I didn’t answer the door
    Til finally nobody cared anymore

    Chorus

    I felt like the walls were all crashing down
    Now I have a chance to breath above ground

    I felt like waldo, I was hidden
    Cause my choices were forbidden
    I was hiding out, but I wanted to be found.
    When you stopped looking, I felt let down

    Chorus

  • 03:40 Download Story Lyrics Miller House Anthem: Feeling Trusted and Accepted

    The Miller House Anthem – Trusted and Respected
    Miller House, December 2015

    Feeling trusted and respected
    Connected and accepted
    Now I come to Miller house
    And now I feel protected

    Brotherhood togetherness
    better than alone,
    strength runs in numbers
    lets just call this home.

    CHORUS
    Feeling trusted and respected
    Connected and accepted
    Now I come to Miller house
    And I…I I I I
    feel protected

    You can’t win them all but win lose or draw,
    we all played the game and left them in aww.
    I am carrying the load but never alone,
    this may be miller house but I call it home.

    Breaking jail mentality, learn a new reality,
    this tough guy exterior is really just a fallacy.

    I’m an introvert enslaved since the first of his days
    Songs of brotherhood felt within his ribcage

    CHORUS

    Put our egos aside together we rise
    now I’m a member of the Miller House tribe.

    Feeling trusted and respected
    Connected and accepted
    Now I come to Miller house
    And now I feel protected

    Who knows what binds together
    Maybe some strange collective call
    Or some defects of genetics
    perhaps nothing at all

    Brotherhood togetherness
    better than alone,
    strength runs in numbers
    lets just call this home.

    Put our egos aside together we rise
    now I’m a member of the Miller House tribe.

    CHORUS

  • 03:28 Download Story Lyrics Move My Body, Heal My Mind

    Move My Body, Heal My Mind

    Miller House, June 2017

    Scar-filled anger turns to stars
    as I turn my arms to god and cry

    Hiding behind
    this angry mask
    Dying for help
    but scared to ask
    It's hard to accept,
    gonna take a long time
    When I move my body
    I can heal my mind

    I look in the mirror and I see a stranger
    I feel my hurt, my mind cries danger
    I don’t know, I don’t know
    I don’t know what I need
    I walk outside and then I try to breath

    Hiding behind
    this angry mask
    Dying for help
    but scared to ask
    It's hard to accept,
    gonna take a long time
    When I move my body
    I can heal my mind

    How do I accept what I cannot change
    time and patience can heal my heal pain
    I can’t stay silent, can’t punch the wall
    if I don’t say it
    I’m bound to fall

    Hiding behind
    this angry mask
    Dying for help
    but scared to ask
    It's hard to accept,
    gonna take a long time
    When I move my body
    I can heal my mind

  • 03:13 Download Story Lyrics Together We Can Walk Thru the Pain

    Together We Can Walk Thru the Pain
    Miller House, December 2016

    We are scared to death scared to change…
    together we can walk
    thru the pain

    I kept falling down
    so many times before…
    I can’t take no more I walked right thru the door
    I was filled with guilt
    I was filled with shame
    They shook my hand and learned my name
    Walking thru the pain

    We are scared to death scared to change…
    together we can walk
    thru the pain

    I spent days and nights
    walking through the rain,
    but this rain was teardrops
    from all my mothers pain
    I took 12 baby steps it helped me to change
    Now my life will never be the same

    We are scared to death scared to change…
    together we can walk
    thru the pain

    Addiction made me cheat, steal, and lie,
    it ruled my life
    it made me want to die now I’m here
    I don’t have to suffer
    because check it out
    addicts do recover

    We are scared to death scared to change…
    together we can walk
    thru the pain

  • 02:41 Download Story Lyrics Gratitude's An Attitude

    Gratitude’s An Attitude
    Miller House, March 2016

    Stay in your own lane
    do what you gotta do
    To thine own self I gotta be true
    Stay in your own lane
    Do what you gotta do

    Yo, it’s hard having gratitude
    When the pain won’t go away
    Plans for my future got here for the stay
    Dwelling on bad things, dwelling on past days
    Remember where you came from
    Remember to pray

    Gratitude, I ain’t got none of it
    Frustrated indifferent tired and sick

    Chorus

    Everyday the elevator’s harder to ride
    maybe there’ll be gratitude on the other side
    Use the steps one day at a time,
    Turn the disease over and hit it from behind

    Chorus

    How can I feel grateful after all the harm I’ve done
    Every time I feel happiness, it’s something that I shun
    My disease keeps telling me, f everything and run
    I’m the brother of a bullet, and the son of a gun

    Chorus

  • 03:12 Download Story Spiritually Free
  • 02:55 Download Story Lyrics Learn to Love Myself

    Finally Learn How to Love Myself
    Cataumet March 2017

    Empty and lost
    Stuck on a one-way street
    Lost my touch
    Now I’m getting back on my feet

    The most loving thing I can do for myself
    is to finally learn how to love myself

    Let my wall down
    and find a bridge I can cross
    and let them know im here
    I don’t want to live lost

    The most loving thing I can do for myself
    is to finally learn how to love myself

    My world was crumbling
    'cause I
    always looked behind
    I could never see why
    Until I learned how to cry

    The most loving thing I can do for myself
    is to finally learn how to love myself

    Empty and lost
    Stuck on a one-way street
    Lost my touch
    Now I’m getting back on my feet

    The most loving thing I can do for myself
    is to finally learn how to love myself

NOTES
These songs were written in a workshop with people in early recovery. The format of the workshop allows people to gain hands-on experience with recovery skills like letting a process unfold and slowing down.

The songs were rerecorded by Kathy Moser and Alice Leon and additional members of the Promises Collective.

Contact Kathy Moser: 908-591-4541 or kathy@musicforrecovery.com for more information.